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Writer's pictureGayathri Ganesh

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse, ft. It Ends with Us

It Ends With Us

"It Ends With Us," adapted from Colleen Hoover's novel, explores the themes of divorce and domestic abuse. The story follows Lily Bloom, who finds herself in a toxic relationship with Ryle Kincaid. Although Ryle initially appears charming, his personality soon reveals a possessive nature and violent tendencies. The film skillfully intertwines Lily's past experiences with her current situation, particularly emphasizing the similarities between her abusive father and Ryle. When her long-lost lover, Atlas Corrigan, suddenly reappears in her life, Lily finds herself in a difficult situation. Although she reassures Ryle that there’s nothing between her and Atlas, Ryle's anger clouds his judgment, causing Lily to question her life choices. Here are five key takeaways from the movie:


“He said it was an accident”

Abuse usually starts subtly, and could be being overly possessive or having extreme anger management issues. Coming from an abusive family herself, Lily was determined not to become like her mother. But, as she forgave Ryle in the early stages, she ignored the early signs because she didn’t want to be too paranoid about men and her perception of men from her past. In the early scenes when Ryle finds out about Lily meeting Atlas again after so many years, his overly possessive and anger issues are seen very evidently. However, Lily chooses to forgive him and put it behind them. This serves as a reminder to recognize early signs and take them seriously.


“As his sister I want you to forgive him but as your Best Friend, if you take him back, I will never speak to you again.”


Separation takes a lot of courage and support. If not for Allyssa, Atlas, and Lily’s mother, Lilly would’ve taken longer than she did now to separate from Ryle. Because, to her, Ryle was someone she met and gradually fell in love with, to leave the man you once loved is not easy without support. In the book, Lily’s mother says, “I want to be you when I grow up”, this is because Lily had the courage to do something her mother never could and that was possible because she had the right people by her side. 


“What would you do if your daughter came to you and said, “Daddy my boyfriend hit me and said he was sorry?” "I would beg her to leave him. And I'd beg her to never go back


Ryle never understood or realized that he was hurting Lily. All the while he thought he did everything he did because he loved her but, when Lily asked him what would he do if the same happened to his daughter, he answered saying that he would ask her to leave and never go back to him. That’s when he realized what he had done to his wife in the name of love. Abusers never understand the pain they’re inflicting until they’re hit with a reality check of someone doing the same to them or to someone they love.


“It stops right here. With you and me. It ends with us”

Soon after giving birth to her child, Lily asks for a divorce from Ryle. Because, in that moment she realized that Ryle might become a great dad for Emmy but could never be a good husband to her and didn’t want her kid to grow up hating her dad as she did. Lily once mentioned about her dad to Ryle, “as a father I liked him, but as a man, I hated him”. He might be a great dad but he could never be a good enough husband for Lily’s mother. While Lily’s mother stayed for that reason, Lily grew up hating her dad for how he treated her mother. Lily didn’t wish that for Ryle and decided to end the cycle of abuse, her mother went through it and she went through it but she wasn’t going to let her daughter go through it.


“If you ever find yourself in a situation to fall in love again, fall in love with me”


Lily decides to separate from Ryle when his abusive behavior reaches an extreme. With nowhere to go, she seeks shelter with Atlas, staying with him until she is ready to talk about her situation. When she finally leaves for her mother’s place, Atlas tells her, “If you ever find yourself in a situation to fall in love again, fall in love with me.” He understands that she needs time to sort things out and decide what she wants, but he still gives her the choice to know that he will be there for her until she heals. Love can happen again, this time with the right person at the right time.


Breaking the cycle of abuse is never easy, but it is possible with the right awareness, support, and determination. Lily’s journey in It Ends with Us serves as a powerful reminder that love should never come at the cost of one’s safety or self-worth. By recognizing the early signs of abuse, seeking help from trusted individuals, and being willing to make difficult choices, we can end the cycle of harm and build healthier futures for ourselves and those we love.


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